Stay-at-home-mom gets pregnant at the same time as 2 sisters, family expects her to babysit all the kids: 'I thought it would be spaced out a little more and not all at the same time'

Advertisement
  • 01
    • r/AITAH ⚫ 7 hr. ago probablynutsbutowell WIBTA if I told my sisters that I can't babysit all of my nieces/ nephews at the same time and they need to get backup sitters?
  • 02
    I am 32F. I am currently pregnant with my second child. My first child is 9. He is the only grandchild in either family at the moment. I had some infertility issues after him. I could get pregnant but miscarried pretty quickly and after the
  • 03
    3rd miscarriage I wasn't able to get pregnant again. I had some gained some weight and it just sucked. Then I decided to get it back together and have lost 30 lbs and bam pregnant. Weird as heck.
  • 04
    I am a SAHM. I do have some ways of making money and that's nice but for us this was just the better plan. The money I made working pretty much just went to child care. It wasn't worth it.
  • 05
    Anyway I have 2 sisters that are also pregnant and my SIL is pregnant as well. We are all due within about 6 weeks of each other.
  • 06
    I am ridiculously excited to be having a baby and ridiculously excited that I will be an aunt. However I'm not excited to be babysitting that many babies by myself. When my oldest was born it was just him. He was an easy baby and even
  • 07
    then it was absolutely exhausting and I was much younger back then so I had more energy. Since I am a SAHM everyone expects me to be the primary baby sitter. I kind of assumed I would be too. However I didn't
  • 08
    assume I would also be having one at the same time as everyone else. I kind of figured I wasn't going to ever get pregnant again and had resigned myself to only having one. I also kind of thought it would be spaced out a little more and not all at the same time.
  • 09
    Anyway to the issue. WIBTA if I told everyone I can't keep all of the babies on the same day and for them to have backup babysitters? I really don't know if I can handle that many at one time and I'm really worried I
  • 10
    will either be so overwhelmed I can't handle it or will go into again or not be able to do everything and they will not get appropriate care. I also have to think about my older son and don't want him to feel left out. I still have to be a mom to my own babies.
  • 11
    I just really don't know if I can. I want to think I can. I am so excited to be an aunt and I can't wait to love and spoil all of them but honestly it's also kinda terrifying. However I know how expensive childcare is and I know how terrifying it is to leave your baby with someone you don't know. So that's another thing that makes me feel awful about it.
  • 12
    Lalunajefe •20h ago So 4 infants? Alone? And recovering postpartum? I'm shocked you have to ask and is wrong with your family? Stop being a doormat and take care of your own children. Even without you being pregnant 3 newborns is not something anyone can or should do alone.
  • 13
    Tight-Background-252 • 19h ago NTA. I would let them know, now. So they can figure out arrangements. If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't watch ANY other children the first 1-3 months. Enjoy bonding time and postpartum. Get in a routine first. THEN tell them what days you are available/willing to help.
  • 14
    While yes, childcare is expensive... are you planning on watching all of these kids until they are school aged? What about drs, outings with friends, etc. you will be limited if you agree to such a commitment. So YNTA. But don't feel awful. Or even bad in the slightest. I know plenty of parents who have to make it work. It isn't your responsibility. They shouldn't be relying on you.
  • 15
    of o SugarLumpy6653 • 20h ago NTA, anyone sane knows how challenging and tough it can be managing your own growing child in your thirties; and expecting u to somehow manage 4 young ones at the same time is just insane. "Since I am a SAHM everyone expects me to be the primary baby sitter."
  • 16
    A SAHM does not automatically become an on demand baby sitter. That's your choice to help out when you can manage it, and you decide how many kids you can manage at the same time. Be nice about it, and have a nice gentle discussion about it when you and ur sisters/sil meet up, that with everyone having kids at the same time, whats their baby sitting strategy. Let them reveal their thoughts first. Then see how it goes, but i dont see u needing to be obligated to be everyone's babysitter.
  • 17
    Lovercraft00 . 19h ago NTA - and no one else is going to think you are either, unless they are crazy. 4 babies at once while post-partum would honestly be unsafe.
  • 18
    No-Astronomer6148 • 19h ago Is this really a question? NTA of course. A SAHM is exactly this: a MUM, not a baby sitter. And you DO need to think about your older son, he's already going to get a lot of your attention away.
  • 19
    Zieglest • 19h ago In the UK in a registered childcare setting it would not be legal for you to care for 4 babies on your own. 3 is the max. I think that tells you all you need to know about your ability to care well and safely for that many babies. NTA, this is about child safety as much as your capacity.
  • 20
    SoMoistlyMoist •19h ago I was a single mother with twins and I almost lost my mind. They will need to find daycare or some other alternative.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article